A blog along. I’ve never “live blogged” anything. So, for some reason, on the first installment of the Bond re-watch, I decided to blog along while viewing. I can’t say it will be entertaining to anyone but me. But, here it is anyway.
#1 Dr. No – 1962 – starring Sean Connery – directed by Terence Young
First sounds you hear, prior to the theme song… digital/computer/futuristic sounds
First song – three blind mice – Not a theme song – just a bridge song, leading to the three blind men walking together in Jamaica. They shoot a man that leaves the card table “the same time every night.” They then shoot a woman who was communicating with London identifying herself as W6N. Blood is pure red paint… Awesome. Three blind mice dig through files and pull out the “Dr No” folder. Flash to London – concerned about W6N breaking off mid-transmission.
First mention of “James Bond”… man looking to speak with him. Reveals casino – woman playing hard. First, “Bond. James Bond” moment. Bond takes a bunch of her money… and of course works out a future date so he can fuck the shit out of her.
Strangways revealed to be the agent that was knocked off in the first scene. M introduces the MacGuffin, which is the ability to knock rockets off course. (During the moon race, this is important.) M is pissed about James carrying a berretta. This seems odd. Q literally calls the gun “nice for a woman’s purse.” Gives him a new gun to carry.
No banter with Moneypenny because M, cuts it off – “Forget the usual repartee, 007 is in a hurry.” Given that this is the first movie, that comment seems strange. He does only have 3 hours to get his flight. But, given that his banter plays so heartily in future movies, to not have it here in the first movie is odd (particularly since they pointed it out).
Back at his hotel, he finds the woman he was playing cards with. Putting golfballs in his bedroom, dressed in one of his dress shirts. Flirty banter. He finds a way to squeeze in a quickie before his flight to Jamaica.
In Jamaica, there appear to be several shady people watching Bond. A driver, introduces himself saying he was assigned to pick him up. Bonds, phones the hotel he is headed to and confirms that they sent no car. Bond knowingly addresses the driver saying he isn’t in a rush, to “just take him for a ride.” They are followed. Bond instructs the driver off the road, and begins trying to figure out who he is and who sent him. The driver kills himself with cyanide before telling him anything. He says something as he is dying, but it’s unintelligable to me.
He checks out Strangways place. Sees a photo of Strangways with a local fisherman. ID’s him as the driver of the tail car. Also, grabs a receipt for geological tests.
In his hotel now, you see him setting the room with traps to see if anyone comes in while he is out. Fingerprint powder on his brief case. Hair on the closet door.
Firsherman ID’s as Quarrell by the men that had been playing cards with Strangways. Bond goes to meet him. Quarrel is evasive. Bond asks to charter his boat, and is denied. Quarrel leads him to a bar. Gets him to a backroom and pulls a knife on bonds. The other shady (agent looking guy) that had been with Quarrel at the airport appears and quickly identifies himself as CIA. (I never caught his name. He is just the CIA agent to me.)
Later that night, in the now busy bar there is a woman photographing Bond & CIA agent. They grab her and try to figure out who she is working for. She was also at the airport. She gives up nothing. Bond notes that one took cyanide, the other is threatened with a broken arm, and neither give up anything. They talk about Crab Key – offshore area. They realize that Strangways has been over there and had geologic samples tested. Dr. No (asian man) owns crab key and doesn’t allow anyone over there. Bond goes to the lab & they say it’s not geographically possible for the samples to have come from there.
Immediately cut to the lab man demanding a boat take him to Crab Key. The boat’s captain protests, says he knows the routine. The professor says that it’s important and he will take responsibility.
Crab Key appears very industrial. The lab professor is brought to a room with a sliding door. Funny to me that automated sliding doors are always used to convey a futuristic feel. Told to sit down on a chair by a voice over a PA system. They talk about Bond and that if Bond comes to the island, the voice will hold the professor responsible. He is then instructed to kill Bond with a large disgusting spider tonight.
Back at the hotel, Bond checks his closet door and doesn’t find the hair he had left. Fingerprints all over the brief case. He knows his room is compromised. Goes to pour liquor and thinks better of it. Cut to him sleeping. He wakes feeling something crawling on him. Sees the tarantula… which would be enough to kill me dead if I saw that fucker crawling on me. He lets it crawl up and off his body… once it is on the pillow, he hops out of bed, and kills it with his shoe (all to some great symphonic sounds).
Banter with Strangways contact. He has a pretty Asian secretary. Bond catches her listening at the keyhole and asks her to show him around the island. In the meantime, Bond checks Quarrels’ boat and finds radioactive readings due to Strangways rocks. Asks Quarrel to take him over – he protests citing a dragon. But, then agrees to take him over tonight.
Bond goes to meet the Asian chick. Enroute, he is chased up a mountain road. Large car is bumping his Astin Martin? up the road, and then loses control over the side of a cliff in a firey mess. Asian chick is naturally surprised to see Bond when he arrives. She is in a slip. Bond steals a kiss, and rather aggressively. Her phone begins ringing. She talks to someone about Bonds being there and says she’ll try to keep him there for a couple of hours. Bond hears her. Sits down and begins undressing her. Might as well get some action since she is clearly working with someone attempting to kill him. They fuck. After, he says he is hungry & suggests going out for some dinner. She is determined to keep him there. Bond phones a taxi – but, goes for round 2. Except, he didn’t call a taxi. He called for a car to pick her up, so he could check her place and presumably wait for who is going to try to kill him.
Inside, he pours a couple of drinks and begins setting the place up. Radio is on. Leaves “half-drunk” glasses on the table. Makes it look like someone is sleeping in the bed. Sits… and waits. The professor shows up and puts 6 bullets into the bed. The professor was one of the card players & had commented on the “new secretary” – the Asian chick. The professor never gives up any info before Bonds puts a couple of bullets into him.
To the boat launch – and Bond & Quarrel head to Crab Key. Quarrel is drinking rum heavily because he is scared. They lie down for some sleep before the sun rises, in the undeveloped side of the island. When he awakes, there is a vision of beauty, singing and emerging from the water in quite the bikini. She has shells and carries a big knife. She identifies herself as Honey Rider. Conversation about her sailing in and tripping the radar. High speed boat comes & fires on them. Quarrel and Honey begin talking about the dragon. Honey claims to have seen it. James tells Honey to get out of there. She says she is not leaving in daylight. He forces her, but machine gun fire pierced her boat. She is stuck with them. But, knows of a place to hide.
Cutting through a river to throw the search party dogs off the scent. They begin using reeds to breathe while under water. (I so want a reason to do this someday.) The search party does not see them, of course. Most of them anyway. There is a straggler with a gun still hunting them. But James gets the drop on him. Kills him to Honey’s horror.
They go on to a hiding spot. Quarrel notices “dragon tracks.” He takes “guard.” Honey & James have a heart-to-heart and she reveals that she killed a man that raped her back in the day. With a black widow spider. Quarrels has spotted the dragon. They go see it & it’s quite clearly a truck with a flame thrower. They shoot at “the dragon.” But, Quarrel gets incinerated. They handcuff James and knock him out. The dragon operators are in nuclear protective suits. They take geiger readings and determine James & Honey to be “contaminated.” They begin the sexy decontamination process which involves nakedness, a fun moving walkway, and shower heads (coming to Disney next year).
Two Asian ladies greet them saying they were expecting them. Trying to treat them to the best hospitality. She invites them to dinner with Dr. No that evening. The room is well appointed. They have new clothes waiting for them. But, the doors are metal & there are no door knobs. They drink some tea which is drugged. Honey passes out first. Bond collapses in a heap on the floor.
Darkness… man with bad white shoes walks in and finds Bond in bed. How did he get there? He has big black gloves. They almost look metallic. Lots of topless shots of Honey… regrettably, only from behind. The perky pointy bra craze captures the rest of the scene. Damned that style made tits fucking pure weapons. Seriously, someone could lose an eye!
Time to meet Dr. No for dinner. They take an elevator to a large room built into the rocks. There is a giant aquarium window. Dr. No appears. Says he would shake hands, but can’t because of an unfortunate accident. Apparently, they are metal.
Dr. No reviews his background – and is the wonderful inspiration for Dr. Evil’s Speech in Austin Powers. (Hell, Dr. Evil is very much a tribute to Dr. No.) Banter between Dr. No & Bond. Dr. No supposedly knows everything Bonds has been up to since arriving in Kingston. Dr. No offers to tell him what his deal really is. Introduces SPECTRE. Toppling American missles is just the start.
Bond taunts him with “World Domination. The same old dream.” Dr. No says he thought Bond was different & that there might even be a role for him in SPECTRE. But, says he is just a stupid cop. Dr. No leaves while his goons start beating on 007.
Inside a real prison cell now. No more nice accomodations. There is an air vent whose surface is not only electrified, but it seems to explode at the touch. Apparenlty only to human touch though. He beats it open with his shoe with no problem. In the air vents, we are back to the futuristic/digital/computerish sounds we heard at the start of the movie. Bond does a poor job of navigating the vents as he falls. It’s now hot to the touch. Apparently, this was not an air vent. As, a rush of water comes flooding through the vent… which leads to a lot of steam.
He gets out & jumps a guy with a chemical suit. Goes to the control room. There is a man turning a dial underneath the sign “danger Level.” Seems like an odd wheel to be turning. Dr. No has the best suit in the place. It’s got a giant clear helmet. They are just about ready to try to topple an american missle.
Bond begins trying to sabotage Dr. No’s mission. Turns the Danger Level wheel up as high as possible. Dr. No and 007 begin fighting. They fight over the cooling pool. Dr. No gets sucked into it. His hand is seen grabbing at the steel beam as he presumably drowns in a radioactive pool. Anti-climactic fight for sure. Alarms are sounding to abandon the area. 007 goes looking for Honey. She is shackled to a ramp with water flowing nearby. No fucking clue what that was.
They are running trying to get to a boat to get off Crab Key. They find one. Knock off two people and motor on off as the island explodes. They run out of gas & Bond decides the only sensible thing to do is to get busy with Honey.
CIA man shows up at an inopportune time… Don’t be interrupting the lead in to coitus. Jeesh! But, offers to tow Bond & Honey in. Soon after, Bond releases the tow rope so he can finish what they started. Movie ends as they make out in the boat floating alone.
So, there is the first movie of the franchise. Seems funny that the title character looms so large over the plot line, but has very little screen time, and gets killed so “easily.” Why is the head honcho getting into fisticuffs with Bond w/o ordering his goons to kill him first?
But, I’m hooked. Definitely a great movie, and I can’t wait for the next installment.
Bond Score Rating +3 (Kind of like the hockey +/- ratio. But, in this case, just the number of women he scored with)